Today I have lived in Haiti for one month. One month doesn’t seem that long, unless of course you’ve moved away from everything that has made you feel secure for the last 24 years of your life.
As I reflect on a month away from my home, the job I loved, my family, and my boyfriend I feel empty places but I also feel so full and so held. I’ve never experienced Jesus sustaining me and filling me up like I have in this month.
I’ve recently been studying Jesus’ heart for injustice and the idea that comfort is an idol. God did not call me to sit at home and be comfortable. He called me to go to the places where I don’t know the language or the culture and love others well. Sometimes when I’m feeling like I’m not changing the world (like I had hoped) I start to feel frustrated and wonder why I’m in Haiti anyway. I wonder “couldn’t I do this same job at home?”. Then I’m reminded that the school I’m working at has never had a special education teacher before. The country where I’m currently living does not view people with disabilities very highly, and God gave me such a big heart for people who have special needs and need someone to be their voice. So I guess no I couldn’t do this same job at home. God called me to Haiti for a specific purpose to really see these kids and to love them well.
When we follow Jesus and take on the servant’s heart he called us to rather than the self righteous heart the world calls us to we will venture into places that seem like they aren’t good for us. We’ll be asked to do things that are hard and that hurt, but oh the joy that comes from being in the center of God’s will for you. Oh the joy of a “Miss Kelsey can I help you” and an “I love you” with a kiss on the cheek. Oh the joy of children who once were illiterate entering into high school for the first time. Oh the joy of saying yes to the exceedingly and abundantly bigger work of Jesus Christ.
Some days my time in Haiti feels like an eternity and other days it feels like the speed of butterfly wings. Whatever it may be I will feel it and embrace it and continue to lean into what Jesus has called me to because this is so good and I don’t want to miss a thing.
“For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”
Esther 4:14 NIV
Love these silly girls! We’re having some fun before we start back to school!!